Thursday, December 8, 2011

The Jalonaraptor Exposed

There are three ways to protect yourself against a Jalonaraptor.
1. Hand sanitizer-prevents bites
2. Tickle him
3. Set a Macall against him.

Be ye warned:
Sudden movements trigger the Jalonaraptor; he most commonly comes out at night and most importantly you must beware his sharp teeth.

Unfortunately I had an encounter with said Jalonaraptor. I was just bringing some lotion to my dear sister when he attacked. There was a large amount of gnashing of teeth and a hideously loud war cry. I knew I had to think quick. Still not knowing the best way to counter this beast I went for his neck, leading to a sharp pain in my forearm. I knew the venom (which I later found out was just saliva) was trying to find its way in. This clash of powers carried its way to the family room, legs were kicking, jaws were snapping, it was a battle to be witnessed. After much time and wounds I had the advantage. He was screeching looking for a way to escape. There was an unexpected calm as the transformation before the tree occurred. The cruel episode was over, peace was restored for a short time. He is still out there sometimes just a howl or a quick nip can be experienced. He is patiently waited for a time to strike. . .